


(Not) Where I’m Supposed To Be

by Wolfletkaider



Series: Double Kidnapped AU [2]
Category: BNA: Brand New Animal (Anime)
Genre: Alan's A+ mentoring, Claustrophobia, Cults, Get Nazuna Out of the Cult, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Manipulative Alan Sylvasta, Nazuna Needs a Hug, Nazuna is confused, Nazuna needs help, Other, Physical Abuse, and into a therapist's office
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfletkaider/pseuds/Wolfletkaider
Summary: Nazuna hated this room, it always made her remember that placeHer, Michiru, the dark room, the lab, the tests, the training, constant transforming, punishments-It was almost identical to the one she shared with Michiru before they finally escaped.It was sort of uncanny.Be safe, Nazuna, I’ll see you when we get to Anima City.Nazuna is punished by Alan for asking to be in her fox form. Afterwords he tells informs her of his next plans for the Church.
Relationships: Alan Sylvasta & Hiwatashi Nazuna, Boris Cliff & Hiwatashi Nazuna
Series: Double Kidnapped AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143275
Kudos: 4





	(Not) Where I’m Supposed To Be

Déesse Louve huddled down into herself, the dark, empty room, once again regretting the fact that she was stupid enough to question Alan’s plan. What was she if she strayed from her path?  ~~ Path decided by who? ~~ Not one who could guide the beastmen and give them hope. Alan knew what was best for the beastmen.  ~~ How, who told him? ~~ And because she had questioned that she was here, in the dark, silent,  ~~terrifying~~ , empty room with the walls closing in around her and only her own thoughts for company.

This was what she wanted. She was an idol to this church, a guiding light that shone brightly onto her followers. She just needed a little bit of a reminder sometimes when she strayed from the path that was chosen for her. 

(Were the walls getting closer?)

Nazuna hated this room, it always made her remember that place _Her, Michiru, the dark room, the lab, the tests, the training, constant transforming, punishments-_ It was almost identical to the one she shared with Michiru before they finally escaped. It was sort of uncanny. _Be safe, Nazuna, I’ll see you when we get to Anima City._

Before Michiru abandoned her by insisting they split up  ~~except that was your idea~~. Had they been together it wouldn’t be only her having to shoulder this burden of leading the beastman.  ~~ But Michiru couldn’t do the full transformations. ~~ They could have led them together, but no, Michiru had to run off to Anima City, abandoning her here. 

What was she saying? Wasn’t this a good thing? She had what she always wanted, she was an idol, maybe not in the way she dreamed, not in the way that Michiru always believed she would be.  ~~Not the way you wanted to be~~. But that didn’t matter, she was here and she was thriving, as long as she listened to Alan she would be fine and she would get what she always wanted.

~~ What did you want at first? What do you want now?  ~~ Not only that but she got to lead people to hope, people who had been beaten down by others. This was a place where she was needed.  ~~ Michiru needs you.  ~~

(The walls were definitely getting closer.)

Nazuna curled in on herself, trying to inch away from the walls. A part of her wanted to change her arms to a gorilla’s and try to break down the door, but the first (and last) time she tried that Alan had smacked her across the face and screamed at her. This was preferable to that punishment, Alan was scary when he yelled. 

Déesse Louve ~~that’s not your name~~ was the only one who could give the beastmen the peace they needed after all their lives of hardship. She had no time to think about what led her here. She was the Silver Wolf, the only beastman who could do a full transformation, one of the only ones who could change the animal she was completely. ~~Though no one was allowed to know and you don’t understand~~ _ ~~why~~._ Alan knew what needed to be done and when. Her asking why she couldn’t be in her fox form was distracting both him and her from the task at hand and that was unacceptable.

(The walls were crushing her)

She put her hands over her ears and squeezed. Déesse Louve  ~~ Nazuna ~~ knew she was wrong, Déesse Louve  ~~ your name is Nazuna ~~ knew she needed to be better than she was. She needed to forget Michiru  ~~ but she’s your best friend ~~ , forget her life before  but ~~you were happy~~ ~~,~~ and forget the awful fox form that she transformed into  ~~ but it feels so natural ~~ . 

She was The Silver Wolf, Déesse Louve  ~~no. you’re not. Your Nazuna. NAZUNA. YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN NAZUNA YOU COULD NEVER BE-~~

“Déesse Louve” Borris’s voice rang through the silence. She turned herself towards the door, in her human form. “I trust you’ve learned your lesson for today.” 

Déesse Louve collected herself and stood. She was the leader of the Beastmen, she could show no weakness. “Certainly,” she nodded once. “It was foolish of me to doubt Alan, especially when I am still learning myself.”

“Good.” He turned to leave, but paused. “You know it pains me to have to do this to you ma’am. But I must be sure that you are at your best to save the beastmen. However, I understand that it may be difficult maintaining a different form at all times, so I have convinced Alan of a compromise.” He turned back to her fully, Déesse Louve met his eyes. “You may be in your fox form where no one can see you, but  _ only  _ where no one can see you.”

If Nazuna had any less control over herself, she may have collapsed with relief. As it was, Déesse Louve simply nodded her understanding. “Thank you for that Borris.” 

Borris walked away from her then, signaling that she was free to go. With the careful grace of a true goddess she made her way through the camp and to her tent, careful not to interact with any of the residents of the camp. The feat was made harder from the fact that the church had grown exponentially in the six months since she made her debut, but she managed.

Nazuna entered her tent and immediately collapsed on her sleeping mat and changed into her fox form. It had been so long since she was in it, even the lab rarely let them stay in their original forms for long. 

She only barely got back for a minute when she heard someone approaching her tent. Déesse Louve immediately sat up and changed into her human form, she could not bear to be in her wolf form right then. Borris entered, “My lady,” he bowed down, “Alan is ready to discuss next steps.”

“Thank you Borris,” She stood making her way to the meeting tent, heart in her throat. Alan would likely still be angry at her for wanting to walk around as a fox, she would need to keep a firm handle on all her expressions and body language, she couldn’t risk angering him a second time. 

She entered the tent to find Alan already waiting for her. “Greetings Alan, I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

Alan turned toward her and gave that blank smile he always had on his face. “Not at all Miss Déesse Louve, although I am eager to discuss our next steps together.” 

“As am I sir.” Back straight, polite smile, hands folded in front of her. Not one error.

“I’ll cut right to the chase then,” he settled down on one of the couches, gesturing for her to do the same. “It’s about time to move to Anima City.” 


End file.
